This is an extremely sad and personal poem; it is about Abse's own wife, Joan, who died at the age of 78 in a car crash (Abse was present but came out wounded). He wrote this poem shortly after the accident, and Abse himself acts as the persona of the poem. When knowing the context the poem becomes even more heartbreaking, yet is surprisingly light-hearted in places considering the grievances which Dannie Abse must have been going through at the time. The tone of the poem is sad, loving, lonely and presents a desperate fondness from the writer towards his wife, for whom he remains '
uxorious'. The poem follows themes of death and grief, and how memory cannot fulfill a person's needs forever. There is no rhyme scheme present in this poem, and it could be argued that this echos the way in which, without his wife, Abse's life lacks routine and purpose.
The connotations of writing a postcard are important to acknowledge for this poem. Postcards are usually written to a loved one to enlighten them on what is going on back home whilst that person is away - it is a personal way of communicating when distance separates you. It appears that Abse is using the form of a postcard to communicate with his wife, briefly summarising how he is feeling without dwelling on the grief. The cliche phrase in a postcard is '
Wish you were here', and this is something which can be taken extremely literally in this poem. Abse begins this poem with this exact phrase; the short sentencing makes for a powerful beginning, and also echos the snappy nature of most postcards. The caesura used in this first line could present the division/distance between Abse and his wife. The reader is aware of how desperate he is to have his Joan back, and of how he will have felt like this everyday of his life since she tragically passed.
Abse goes on to paint an image of his surroundings - '
'It's a calm summer's day' - and writes of how '
the dulcamara of memory / is not enough.' The word '
dulcamara' is used to describe a treatment for certain diseases, and this definition helped me come to the interpretation that Abse is portraying the lack of comfort and healing power which he finds in memory. Although a short-term comfort, the soul cannot exist alone on memories and the power of memory does not appear to be strong enough to overturn grief. Abse uses to word '
confess' in the first stanza, and this echos the personal tone of postcards and how they appear to have a way of unmasking your emotions (you often say things in postcards and letters which you would not usually say). He confesses that '
without you [Joan] / I know the impoverishment of self'; this implies that he has nothing without her, and since her death everything has lost its' value, she being the only thing left that holds any value to Abse. It could also suggest that he is now realising and greatly appreciating the life they lived together when she was still alive. The first stanza ends with the statement from Abse: '
and the Venus de Milo is only stone.' This is a reference to one of the most famous works of ancient Greek sculpture (a Greek statue), and suggests that the Gods, history, even life itself means nothing/has no power over him without her.
'
So come home. The bed's too big!' - this is an obviously trivial consequence of his wife's death, but Abse appears to be grasping desperately at a little normality, relating the subject back to daily life and objects of his daily routine as a source of comfort. It also obtains a tone of sad humour, laying his vulnerability and loneliness completely bare. He asks her to
'Make excuses', as if she is simply on holiday/away somewhere and could easily reappear by his side by simply making excuses to those keeping her. Again, it appears that Abse is attempting to bring a light-heartedness to the poem, not dwelling on the grief he is suffering but more on the sheer desperation he feels to have her back and the fond love which he feels towards her still. Despite this the underlying tones remain ones of heartbreak and devastation under tragic circumstances. A more comical, light-hearted tone is secured throughout the rest of the second stanza as Abse suggests pretending that the pair are
'are agents in an obscure drama'.
His desperation is made exceptionally clear to the reader through the beginning of the third stanza: '
Anything!' The short sentencing coupled with an exclamation mark depicts his emotions simply and powerfully, as if Abse is physically crying out for his wife. He presents an image of them '
motor[ing], / just you, just me' - this phrase depicts the fact that he doesn't need anyone/anything but her, and he relied (and still relies, as he is struggling tragically without her) on his wife completely. He describes how they could motor '
through the dominion / of Silurian cornfields, follow the whim / of twisting narrow lanes where hedges / have wild business with roses and clematis.' This strong, natural imagery obtains beautiful detail, and this close observation of the scenery suggests that the scene is in fact a memory which Abse previously shared with his wife whilst she was alive.
In the final stanza, he provides the alternative of how they could '
mimic the old gods / who enacted the happy way to be holy.' This could be a presentation of how love is the path to happiness; it could be argued that Abse is suggesting the gods who were in love/taught love/represented love were the happiest of all, and just like them (and everyone?) he needs his love if he is ever going to feel happiness again. He refers to Joan as '
dear' in the second from last line, and this nickname provides a fondness and presents the closeness which the couple obviously shared. He describes himself as being '
uxorious', depicting complete desperation to have her back and presenting his love, the love they shared, as unwavering. The final line gives a cliche-phrase a personal touch by adding the author's name: '
absence can't make Abse's heart grow fonder.' This illustrates the reality and genuinity of his love.
