Self's The Man

This poem explores a theme of selfishness and its connections to marriage. Larkin writes as an outsider, a running theme in The Whitsun Weddings, and creates a persona which is very much independent and unattached romantically. Arnold, Larkin's opposite, is used as a tool for comparison; 'He married a woman to stop her getting away / Now she's there all day,' This line holds an offensive and cynical tone, suggesting that Arnold feels trapped with no way of escape. It presents a claustrophobic feel and suggests oppressive company - it is clear already that the marriage is not a happy one.
     Larkin continues with this cynical approach to matrimony; 'the money he gets for wasting his life on work' all goes towards 'kiddie's clobber and the drier / And the electric fire,' and never on treats for himself. He also refers to Arnold's partner as taking his money 'as her perk', and it could be argued that there is a tone of sexism which runs throughout the poem. When Arnold is not at work, he is being nagged to 'Put a screw in this wall', which leads to him having 'no time at all'. These phrases make marriage seem almost like a second job for Arnold, and Larkin appears to find the prospect of matrimony extremely unappealing - he presents it as a hardship.
     A casual tone is adopted in this poem; this creates a naturalistic feel, one of reality which allows Larkin to engage with the 'everyday reader' whilst possibly echoing the dull normality of marriage itself. The structure and language used in 'Self's The Man' are both simple, making the poem informal and accessible. This also makes the content fairly easy to understand, and it could be argued that this portrays Larkin's upfront persona in the poem, and the way in which he does not attempt to mask his selfishness - he does not use extravagant language to hide any of the dull realities presented in the poem.
     Before the 6th stanza Larkin openly refers to himself as being more selfish than Arnold, but a change is signified hence forth with the word 'but'. There is a role reversal here between the narrator and his opposite - Larkin describes how Arnold was 'out for his own ends / Not just pleasing his friends'. This suggests that on closer inspection, seemingly selfless acts are in fact often selfishly undertaken, and Arnold married his partner 'for his own sake'. Larkin could be depicting the fact that Arnold was not forced into marriage, and it was his own selfish way of keeping her to himself, almost trapping her.
     In the final stanza of 'Self's The Man' Larkin presents himself as not only obtaining equal goodness to Arnold, but actually being less selfish than he. He states that he is a 'better hand / At knowing what [he] can stand' - it could be argued that he is suggesting he is less selfish because he avoided marriage as he knew he would not be able to stand it, whereas Arnold made his partner his wife because of his own selfish wishes. Despite the confident, almost arrogant tone with which he narrates throughout, the final line of the poem shows Larkin undermining his earlier judgements; a hyphen is used to depict a pause in thought, followed by the phrase: 'Or I suppose I can.' This portrays self-doubt and ends the poem intriguingly, leaving the issue unresolved - the reader is left to decide who they believe to be more selfish, and this allowance of self-judgement depicts Larkin's lack of certainty.